Quiet girl
The climate is humid, hot, and uncomfortable. I have come to the decision to enjoy an indoor summer this year, as I might express in the soulful voice of the American singer Luther Vandross, "my sensitivity gets in the way."
I plan to indulge in café visits, reading, and listening to both classic and contemporary music. Additionally, I look forward to watching films in the evenings. Recently, I viewed the Oscar-nominated Irish film The Quiet Girl, directed by Colm Bairéad and based on the book Three Lights by Claire Keegan. The film portrays the story of a quiet and neglected girl named Cait, who grows up in an Irish family during the 1980s. She is sent for the summer to stay with her childless relatives, Eibhlín and her husband Seán, without knowing when she will return home.
During her time with this family, Cait experiences warmth and love that she has never encountered before, gradually evolving into a curious and joyful girl. The beautiful scenes depict Eibhlín, with her characteristic hairstyle and village-style clothing, gently caring for Cait by brushing her hair a hundred times while humming Irish songs. Eibhlín introduces her to the farm surrounding their home and teaches her how to peel potatoes. Initially, her stern husband Seán is somewhat reserved, but he gradually begins to show affection for the girl. One particularly touching scene features a laughing Seán allowing Cait to taste dark beer, to which she, like most children, responds that it is not to her liking. I found this amusing! Spoiler alert: Cait is eventually sent home, but the ending is beautiful.
The film moved me to gentle tears. I recognized myself in its emotionally charged story, and I felt a stir within me during the scene where Cait’s temperamental biological father raises his voice. I, too, grew up as a quiet child in a another “family” with strong temper, and I vividly remember the challenges that accompanied that experience.
Quiet children are often perceived as shy and cautious, perhaps even wordless and less social. However, with care and love, they too can find their place in society. Research indicates that between 30 and 50 percent of the population is introverted. Introverted children tend to be creative and deep thinkers, often needing time in solitude to thrive. They can serve as a calming presence in an extroverted society, helping to lessen the noise.
According to author Susan Cain, who wrote Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, children should be allowed to embrace their introversion. She asserts that being quiet is not a condition that requires a cure. Forcing a child to conform to the stereotype of youth who speak like adults—a norm prevalent in many television shows and children’s films—is not a healthy societal standard.
Amid the focus on aggressive and ADHD-diagnosed children highlighted by some medias, we often overlook the quiet ones. It is essential to bring attention to naturally quiet children and to avoid viewing them as solitary figures. Instead, we should provide them with more opportunities for growth, much like Cait in The Quiet Girl.
Schools, in particular, should prioritize this focus. Parents should receive education on this matter. Too many children grow up in environments where their parents or their teachers do not consider their best interests. We do not need an increased emphasis on the overdiagnosis of children; rather, we require greater acceptance of diverse norms. After all, we are all unique individuals, genetically speaking.