Prioritize privacy

Photo: Gail Albert Halaban

I find myself rather weary of the theatrics; the manner of acting is rather tiresome. This reminds me of a refrain from Grace Jones' song “Private Life”. It prompts reflection on the theatrical behaviour and phenomena.For instance, there is a notable example on social media where boundaries are frequently overlooked. Women who have experienced breakups and follow accounts that offer advice on surviving a narcissistic relationship resonate with certain tendencies, though not to an excessive degree with any one individual. It is important to note that most people are not entirely narcissistic, despite certain studies suggesting that the prevalence may range from 0.05% to 1% or more. However, the wave of women accusing men of narcissism post-divorce or breakup does not equate to the experiences of those who have suffered from psychological abuse, regardless of gender. The inability to cope with a breakup often leads to bitterness, which many find unbecoming, as it tends to perpetuate a cycle of clinging to past patterns rather than recognising the nuances of experience, particularly the brighter aspects of future hope. I am aware of women who continually limit themselves from renewing and exploring new opportunities after facing closed doors. This often results in a somewhat obsessive relationship with social media, akin to influencer Iselin Guttormsen, who frequently asserts that men are of little worth, or the somewhat dogmatic fitness expert Lene Alexandra, who repeatedly shares quotes suggesting that women can thrive without men. But for how long can this sentiment persist? I have also observed individuals posting content to signal a status need, portraying themselves as superior to others. While most can afford a meal at Ladurée, the average French person enjoys their macarons in peace without an audience.

The compulsion on social media to share images of children, friends, handbags, and again, rebellious notions about men being worthless, often leads to self-deception. Firstly, individuals become obsessed with monitoring what is deemed private, and secondly, the belief that one’s private life holds such significance tends not to convey respect. Particularly when one’s life is consumed with communicating that they have ample friends and a vibrant social life, one might ask, who truly cares? It may be more prudent to maintain a private profile solely for those closest to you. This is especially pertinent when considering children's rights on platforms that have yet to secure protections against unwarranted personal pursuits, paedophilic networks, and, importantly, sensitive information in digital archives. Regrettably, we have not advanced sufficiently to ensure that our images are used solely for personal purposes.

Another compelling argument for safeguarding privacy is the example one sets for their child, as they observe patterns and behaviours that they may replicate upon acquiring their own smartphone. Social media has become an obsession that many struggle to manage, with numerous individuals using it to pursue validation through a façade of self-control, while in reality, they may be leading rather empty lives. This performance often results in a distortion of priorities, overshadowing the essential elements of our existence, such as silence, protection of significant relationships, and distance from the intrusive nature of others’ gossip, financial status, and, notably, a child’s right to exist without the scrutiny of neighbours.

We must also modernise our perceptions of public figures who maintain open profiles on social media, particularly regarding potential threats or enterprises that may pose harm. We may be somewhat naïve in our understanding of contemporary terrorism, which increasingly manifests through digital mapping. In the context of stalking and information storage, one can never be certain when an adversary, be it of one’s country or oneself, may exploit such vulnerabilities. This also pertains to personal information shared online, which can lead to involvement in cryptocurrency enterprises or being tracked within systems that could have dire consequences, such as child kidnapping or the creation of pornographically constructed content online.

Being a good neighbour entails balancing relationships through cordiality and generosity. One need not be religious to draw wisdom from theological perspectives on privacy. In my case, I find inspiration as a cultured believer. In Catholicism, the message surrounding privacy underscores the importance of respecting family as a sacred institution, a crucial framework for raising children and fostering love and support. The Talmud emphasises the significance of guarding secrets and respecting others' privacy. It states that revealing someone's secret can alter their behaviour and affect their relationships, potentially leading to conflicts and disturbances that often culminate in discord, thereby marginalising harmony and peace among individuals. In the Talmud, violations of privacy are referred to as hezek re’iyah, harm through sight or visibility. To prevent such harm, a neighbour's right to privacy may restrict how another neighbour constructs their own home.

The assertion that one has nothing to hide does not serve as a valid justification for disregarding ethical guidance that prioritises one’s own well-being. It is akin to engaging in self-destructive behaviour under the guise of a predominant perspective of freedom that may impact other relationships. There is no necessity for hysterical self-limitation; rather, moderation can yield healthy benefits in the form of discretion as an essential safeguard. Occasionally drawing curtains in a digital context and remembering to lock one’s door contribute to the preservation of our independence and individuality.